It’s the month of love, the most romantic day of the year and a great excuse to show yourself some tenderness. I’m a lover 365 days of the year so generally I have no problem with telling those close to me that I love them or with treating them and often, myself, to plentiful gifts because I’m the generous, compassionate type. Don’t get it twisted though – I put a lot of thought into my gifting and you’ll not find me shelling out for sex cheques and teddy bears.
Last year we witnessed a boom in the beauty and wellness industries and subsequently, a host of amazing FemTech companies and products popped up. I made it my mission to test as many of these as possible and I’ve picked out my favourites for you. So, whether you’re loved up or flying solo this V-Day, please do yourself a favour and treat yourself to one or two of these excellent, life-improving finds.
Go Play by Uvee
When I first heard about Uvee my first thought was, ‘why does this not already exist and where can I buy one?’ The Uvee is a multi-functional, rechargeable, lockable storage container for your toys. It uses UV technology to safely sanitise over 99.9% of harmful bacteria in five minutes. It also contains dividers and USB charging ports so you can charge while you clean, organise and store your goods. I cannot stress how important it is to properly clean and sterilise your sex toys, kegel exercisers and basically anything you put near your bits to avoid infections like thrush or BV and STDs – romantic, I know.
Uvee makes two versions of the sanitising storage unit, the GO PLAY and the HOME PLAY and although they don’t have stockists in the UK just yet, it’s easy to order online and get your unit shipped out pronto. This is honestly one of the best pieces of FemTech I’ve come across and is a great one for your health, peace of mind and for Marie Kondo-ing the F out of your naughty drawer.
Vibrators from Smile Makers
One of these days you’ll tire of me singing Smile Makers‘ praises, but it shall not be this day! Smile Makers have one criteria when it comes to making their products: if you wouldn’t feel comfortable with your mother seeing it in your bag, it won’t make the grade. The company are dedicated to normalising female pleasure and bringing conversations about sex and sexual wellness out into the open. Every product – from vibrators to lube – features a cool, contemporary design created in collaboration with sex educators, sexologists and gynaecologists. I honestly cannot recommend this female-focused brand enough.
Pelvic Floor Trainer from Elvie
Your pelvic floor is a priority. Trust me, I’ve had a hard time with mine. Whether you’re on that postnatal flex, you carry your stress in your hips or you’re unsure how to properly exercise your womanly muscles, this little invention can help. A kegel trainer that helps you to develop a stronger pelvic floor and get to know that part of your body a little better, the Elvie can help with anything from improving your enjoyment of sex to bladder control. In true millennial fashion, the pelvic floor exerciser works in tandem with a biofeedback app that helps you track your progress. What a time to be alive, ey?
Eyezone Massager from Prezzybox
If like me you struggle to wind down before bed, fear not, because I’ve got all the hot takes. Shout out to Prezzybox for sending me this game changer which combines massage therapy, pinhole therapy and magnetic therapy in one device. I spend a lot of time looking at screens so at the end of the day popping this on really helps to ease the pressure behind my eyes.
The massager looks like a set of goggles and focuses on four acupressure areas – namely, the eyes, temples, nose and cheekbones to improve circulation and reduce dark circles and puffy eyes. It also has perforated vision panels which help to relax the eyes and restore your focus. Then there are the magnets which create a body-facing magnetic field. One of the more affordable picks on this list, the Eyezone can really help take the edge off when you’re feeling stressed out.
VIVE from Noisy Project
Vibrators that don’t look like vibrators are all the rage, in case you didn’t know. It isn’t so much that they’re disguised as something else as they’re more ergonomic, creatively designed and are being created with a variety of women’s tastes and lifestyles in mind. I’m on board with this, of course, which is why when Noisy Project got in touch with me to tell me about VIVE and its ‘lay-on’ toys I was pretty intrigued.
10 different vibration patterns, rechargeable and pretty robust. This lay-on vibrator is all about focusing on clitoral stimulations and is a great tool for finding out what works for you in an easy, non-invasive way. Women who are able to orgasm from penetration alone are in the minority so if your penis-shaped sex toys aren’t making it happen for you, it could be time to invest in one of these babies.
Love Egg from So Divine
What even is a love egg, I hear you ask. Well, following on from my earlier mention of sex toys that don’t take the form of the D, this device from So Divine takes cues from ancient eastern medicine, tantric practices and kundalini. Basically it’s a hands-free orgasm that relies on a unique blend of your own muscle strength and a smooth, rose-gold remote control.
This latex and phthalate-free gem is probably the giftiest of all the self love picks on this list because the wrapping is pretty special – think tasteful packaging, a little storage bag and a minimalist charging port and cable. The remote control works from up to five metres away and features three speeds and seven patterns. Oh, and it’s water-resistant too. Happy Valentine’s Day, honeys.